Monday, February 23, 2009

Best Bad Movies pt.3 The Classics

So there are movies who everyone agrees that are bad but everyone loves them anyway. *trumpets play* So I bring you part three of the Best Bad movies. How many times have you seen Goonies anyway? Think about all that studying you could have been doing--no wonder you're failing college. Well don't stop on my account, I'm queen of watching stuff. Just don't try to take my crown.


The Goonies

Patrick Yovanov
The Goonies!Love it. Mystery, treasure, water slides. Hilarity. Just a funny, feel good movie.

The Goonies, a group of young teenaged friends living in Astoria, Oregon, face foreclosure on their families' homes from the expanding Astoria Country Club. While rummaging through the bric-a-brac accumulated in the Walshes' attic by their father (a local museum curator), they find an old newspaper clipping, a map, and an artifact relating to a rumor of a forgotten pirate treasure somewhere in the area. Hearing the call of adventure, Mikey tries to persuade his friends to join him in search for the treasure hoarded by a pirate named One Eyed Willie.
They head to the coast and stumble upon an abandoned seaside restaurant that seems to match coordinates set by the map and an old doubloon. Unbeknownst to the Goonies, the restaurant is actually a secret hideout of a family of Italian criminals known as the Fratellis. To make matters worse, they find the dead body of an F.B.I. agent stored away in a freezer, and the Fratellis have returned to the hideout, though they remain unaware of the Goonies' presence in the basement.
With the Fratellis in close pursuit, the group risks life and limb navigating the caves and dodging booby traps until they discover the hidden cove and final resting place of The Inferno, before they get too carried away, the Fratellis capture the group on board the ship, strip them of their treasure.
The Goonies barely escape and make their way out to the beach outside the cave, even though everyone is happy that the young adventurers were unharmed, the kids themselves are devastated at their inability to hold onto any of the treasure lost in the cave's collapse. All hope is restored when Rosalita, the Walshes' housekeeper, discovers a handful of precious jewels left in Mikey's marble bag. With this new fortune, the Goonies are able to save everyone’s homes from foreclosure.


Travis Neumeyer
Mallrats - The critics really tore Kevin Smith (writer, director) apart for this movie, especially after the success of his directorial debut, Clerks, but I love it because of its flaws. At times, it's campy and unconventionally funny but they're familiar, real characters, who have real situations to overcome.

T.S. is preparing for a trip to Universal Studios Florida with his girlfriend Brandi, during which he plans to propose to her; however, the two have an argument and break up after Brandi tells him she can't go because she's volunteered to fill in as a contestant on Truth or Date, her dad's "cheesy Dating Game rip-off" TV show. T.S. turns to his comic book-loving best friend Brodie who has also broken up with his girlfriend Rene and Brodie suggests the two might find solace at the local mall.
Brodie and T.S. discover Truth or Date is shooting at the same mall, and ask local troublemaking
drug dealers Jay and Silent Bob to destroy the show's stage. Brodie also finds out Rene is being pursued by his nemesis Shannon Hamilton, a clothing store manager who hates Brodie.
Between seeking romantic advice from Stan Lee and debating such topics as the sexual proclivities of comic-book characters and the status of a cookie stand located outside the official food court, the two run into various acquaintances, including a sex researcher who happens to be a
minor, and a guy who spends all day trying to see the hidden image of a sailboat in a Magic Eye poster. They also run afoul of Brandi's father, who has the mall security guard La Fours plant marijuana on their persons so they can be arrested. In addition to helping them escape, Jay and Silent Bob get two of the game show contestants stoned, allowing T.S. and Brodie to replace them on Truth or Date and woo back their respective exes.

(The summaries are edited from Wikipedia)

1 comment:

  1. Both movies cut out scenes that would have helped their plots make sense. The Goonies originally had a giant octopus (the video even kept it) but it was cut.

    Years before There's Something About Mary, Kevin Smith wrote a semen-as-hair-gel scene for Mallrats but execs made him take it out.